September

I've decided to try and set a goal each month, write it on a sticky note, post it on here, and in my room. My goal in September is to lose 8 pounds. It would put me at a certain milestone that I'm ready to hit, which would also be 27 pounds lost since I started this blog.

My boss' wife is a personal trainer, and she is having me come in today to accurately test my body fat and get measured. I'm nervous, because I know it's not good. However, if I go once a month, I'll be able to see more progress than just the scale, so that will be motivating.

I also talked to another personal trainer friend, who said I'm eating and doing everything right, I just need to be patient. She also gave me a circuit of weights/stairs to do at the gym in addition to my classes that should help push along my progress.

September, here I come!

Reasons

Guys. (Meaning myself, because nobody reads this.) I have lost ZERO POUNDS. I haven't gained, but I'm really confused. I eat extremely well, I go to the gym for an hour, sometimes two, a day. Most people I know lose 5-10 pounds at the drop of the hat just for quitting soda alone. I was drinking one a day, quit cold turkey, and lost nothing. I know that I'm getting healthier. My body feels better, albeit exhausted and sore. I crave the gym, now. I sweat more than I ever have in my life. It drips off of my face, and runs into my eyes. My sports bra is soaked. It's the greatest feeling in the world to know that I'm putting in that effort, and when I leave, I feel on top of the world, even though I can barely stand. But then I got on the scale, and there is NO. LOSS.

People keep telling me I'm gaining muscle, but I really don't think I've been lifting weights to the point that I've already built up enough muscle to outweigh any loss. I only do Body Pump twice a week, and mostly focus on cardio. I'm really considering getting blood work done. I've thought for a while that how rapidly I gained weight after my divorce was not normal, and how hard it is to take it off isn't either. I'm not expecting a walk in the park, but a month of working my butt off and eating clean should have SOME results.

Regardless, I'm going to keep on keeping on. I see a small difference in the mirror, and even if it's just mental, it's enough to keep me motivated. I wanted to make a list of some reasons that I want to lose the weight, to remind myself on days when I'm not as motivated. Yes, I realize some of these are very shallow, but it is what it is. So without further ado, here's what I've got so far:

• To feel confident in a swimming suit
• To not run the other way when I run into a boy I kissed or dated when I was thin
• To cross my legs comfortably
• To feel like I can participate when my friends want to play sports/go dancing, without worrying about what I look like
• To not have to wonder if a store will have my size
• To wear the bright red corduroy skinnies I've had in my closet for a year
• To not wonder if I'm the heaviest person in my class at the gym
• To wear a tank top instead of a baggy shirt at the gym
• To not untag myself in pictures on Facebook
• To continue to see my energy and stamina increase
• To shop for clothes that are really my style-not just clothes that are cute and fit
• To cut my hair super short
• To set healthy habits for life, that I can pass on to my kids, if I ever have any
• To pull out all of my "skinny" clothes and get rid of my "fat" clothes
• To see my collarbones (I just really really love collarbones..)
• To have a healthy relationship with food
• To be able to say I did it.

Body Pump

Last night, I did Body Pump for the first time. It. Was. Awesome. Seriously, I was shaking, and burning, and I loved every second of it. Afterwards, I stayed for half of Zumba. I had to leave due to a prior engagement, but it felt so good to push my body and know that I could really do two hours of classes if time allowed for it. It sounds insane, but I left the gym feeling like I'd already lost weight. And I know it was purely mental, but it was such a good motivation to do it again.

I did weigh myself this morning, and I'd lost a pound. A friend who's lost 95 pounds told me that when she was losing weight, she would vow to never see that number on the scale again. So if she ate badly one day, she wouldn't weigh herself the next day, because the next number she saw always had to be lower than the last. I love that. So when I weighed myself this morning, I promised myself I would NEVER see that number again. I won't divulge what I weigh, but that's a promise I want to keep to myself.

Oh, and I never a new favorite breakfast- refrigerated oatmeal. It's all over Pinterest, and I finally gave it a shot. I put 1/2 c quick oats in a jar, and 3/4 c unsweetened almond milk. I threw in a small handful of blueberries, put the lid on, shook it up, and stuck it in the fridge overnight. The next morning, I sprinkled a tiny bit of Great Grains cereal on top for some crunch, and it was delicious. When I eat my spinach smoothies, I'm hungry again within an hour or two. After eating this though, I was fine until lunch. Fantastic!

Also, as I was writing this, a coworker asked me if I've been losing weight. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is. I just feel happy today. And I haven't felt this way in months. I forgot how much I love the gym. I crave it now. Zumba tonight!

Hello, again.

I'm back. The last few months have been a roller coaster. I moved 3 times this summer, and for the majority of the summer, I didn't have access to a kitchen. I've somehow managed to maintain 20 pounds lost, but now that I'm back in a routine and a house where I can actually unpack my kitchen things, I'm ready to get my butt back into shape, and lose another 20! (Then another.. then another.)

Having a kitchen and being able to buy groceries has made all the difference the last couple of weeks, and I'll never take it for granted again! I've started making all of my meals, where I was eating out 2-4 times a day before. Every morning, I have a spinach smoothie with almond milk, greek yogurt, and berries that I bought at the farmer's market and froze. Snacks have become carrots, raw almonds, low fat cottage cheese and celery, or fruit, in place of the candy or QT taquitos that I have been grabbing the last few weeks. I've started to go to the gym again, and am utilizing the classes-primarily kickboxing and Zumba, and I'm trying out Body Pump for the first time tonight.

I don't know where my head has been at the last couple of months, but I'm so happy my drive is back. I'm happy to be back in a place where I feel comfortable and motivated to begin a healthy life style again.

I know literally nobody reads this blog, but I'm going to keep track of my progress here anyway, 100% to help keep myself on track.

So excited to be back. :)