Monday, October 24, 2011

1 Week In

I'm one week in, and 2 pounds down. I'll be honest, I was expecting a bit more of a loss, considering the drastic change in my eating habits and increase in exercise. But 2 pounds is 2 pounds, so I'll take it.

The wife of the owner at my work is a personal trainer/body builder, and I've been following the diet plan that she gave me for the past week.

Here's an idea of how what I eat daily:

First thing in the morning: Protein drink

Breakfast: 1/2 cup oatmeal with cinnamon and stevia

Snack: Homemade protein bar (delicious and low calorie, I'll post the recipe at some point.)

Lunch: 1/2 cup brown rice, 1 chicken breast (or other lean protein), green vegetable (such as spinach, broccoli, romaine lettuce..)

Snack: Homemade protein bar

Dinner:  Turkey burger (or other lean protein, like fish), green vegetable

Right before bedtime: Protein drink

(I also drink at least 1 gallon of water a day.)

As you can see, I've cut out all sugar. I try to get in at least half an hour of exercise a day, this past week I only got in 4 days.

It was a difficult transition, but not as hard as I expected. I didn't miss or crave sugar at all, which was great, but for some reason I was still very cranky. I thought I'd be more tired, but I had more energy than normal.

The hard thing for me is not seeing the weight drop off immediately. I think, "ok I worked out for 45 minutes, why am I not skinny yet?" Every day I have to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that this is a lifestyle change.

I'm not going to lose 20 pounds in 2 days, or maybe not even in 2 months.
People aren't going to notice that I lost 2 pounds, even though I feel it.
And when I reach my goal weight, it still won't be ok for me to drink soda every day, and snack on candy when I'm hungry or sad.

Will it be easier to indulge every once in a while? Yes.
But this isn't some quick fix. This is why I've always gained the weight back. Because I don't treat it as a new way of life.

But this time is different. This time has to be different.

From here on out, I eat to live, I don't live to eat.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

First day of the rest of my life

Hi. I'm Heidi.
Although if you're here, you should probably already know that.
This new blog of mine is to help document my weight loss journey, motivate me towards reaching my goals, and maybe even encourage a person or two along the way.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

I've been overweight since I was a kid. It never bothered me much. Sure, I wished it was easier to find a prom dress that fit, and I dreaded P.E. But I always had a lot friends. I was never bullied. I was genuinely happy.

Towards the end of my senior year in high school, I wanted to change.
And I did. I worked my butt off, literally. Within a year I was down a whopping SIXTY POUNDS.
It felt great. I'd always been popular, but boys were looking at me. I was dating men I had never even dreamed would be interested in me, due to my weight. And for once in my life, I actually felt confident at a pool party.

However, it was short lived. After a terrible break up, I gained thirty pounds back, only to lose 20 of it again for my wedding May of in 2010.

Which is where I'd really like to start this story.

I was married May 29, 2010.

I wore a size 12 wedding dress, which to some may sound big, but considering that I'm 5'9", and have always been overweight, to me, it was perfect.

Then my marriage started going downhill-and fast.
The worse it got, the more I ate.
I remember staying awake after my husband went to bed and just eating,
trying to somehow fill the void that wasn't being filled with the love I was craving so desperately.

I was depressed. I was suicidal. And then he left, in February of 2011.
And I ate some more.

In the past year and a half, I've been married, divorced, turned 22, gotten on and off depression medicine, and been through countless more events that I won't bore you with.
But I let life get the best of me and my body.

And I now weigh more than I ever have in my life.

Which brings me here, writing this blog, because I am ready to take my life back.

I'm ready to stop "untagging" myself on Facebook, because I'm ashamed.
I'm ready to fit into those hot corduroy skinnies I bought from the Gap,
and to rock them.
And I'm ready to love ALL of me again.

I know this post has been long,
and if you're still here, thank you.
Because I can't take this journey alone.

So, tune in later this week for the full extent of my plans, goals, and everything in between.

Until then, never underestimate your power to change yourself and your circumstances.