Alright guys, I have to get back on track. Seriously.

The last three weeks, we had family staying with us for a family wedding. I know that that's no excuse, but it made it really hard to keep up with buying my own groceries and making my own dinner. There were tons of leftovers from the wedding in the fridge (carrot cake daily for a week? it happened), and 6 people in the house (including two kids) instead of 2. It was fun, but I'm ready to whip back into shape.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend and I volunteered at the Phoenix Marathon. I've NEVER been a runner. I hate it. I get shin splints, and want to vomit. I can kickbox, Zumba, elliptical, you name it, for a long time and be totally fine. But running just kills me.

Something about watching all those runners inspired me, though. There were men and women at LEAST in their 80's, little kids, strong athletes, and people bigger than I am.

I've been saying for years that I want to train for a 5k. And I need to stop talking and just do it. I need to just find one in a few months, and sign up for it, forcing me to get prepared. So this weekend, after I get paid on Friday, I'm going to invest in a good pair of running shoes, and stop making excuses.  I may hate it and quit when I reach my goal. But I need to reach it, to prove to myself that I can.

I also have been super inspired by Mama Laughlin. She just finished the 30 Day Shred (oh, remember how I bought that and never did it? Typical Heidi), and had fantastic results.  The thing that holds me back from doing it daily is that I live with my aunt (who I love), but I feel silly doing a workout video alone when other people are home. I just have a complex like that. I need to stop worrying about it and be committed.

As far as eating goes, that's where I need to make the biggest change again. It's not even a matter of not wanting to eat clean and healthy-the problem is my lack of planning. After work today, I'm heading straight to the grocery store, and stocking up so that I have NO EXCUSES.

Here's to a fresh start.

So I stepped on the scale the other day, and I've officially lost over 20 pounds! 21.4, to be exact. I'm pretty excited.

The great thing is that my body feels like it's lost more than 20 pounds. I think it's because usually when I lose weight, I either diet and don't workout (stupid HCG..), or strictly do elliptical. This time I'm challenging my body with exercises that tone, shape, and focus on my core.

I decided about 5 minutes ago that I'm going to try and wake up earlier than ten minutes before I have to leave for work (I know, I'm pathetic), and go for a 20 minute walk/jog in addition to my evening work out. I'm generally very cranky in the morning, and I'm thinking that waking up with a work out could not only help with that, but boost my metabolism throughout the day, and of course, burn more calories than I already am. Plus, on days that I'm super busy and don't make it to the gym in the evening, at least I know I did SOMETHING and can feel good about it.

I'm thinking about buying myself a beach crusier, too. The weather in Arizona right now is SO PERFECT, and gas is so high, that it's a shame not to own one.

{source}

Anyway. Exercise is making me feel happy. And that is the best. :)

No scale!

Guys, I'm the worst blogger ever.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to try NOT weighing myself. I've heard from different people that if you stress to much about losing weight, it could affect it. And I STRESSED. Every Saturday morning when I knew I had to weigh myself, my bathroom was anxiety attack central.

So I thought I'd give not weighing myself a shot, and go off of how I feel.

That lasted about a week, and then I decided to step on the scale.

IT WAS BROKEN.

So I guess by default, I'm not going to weigh myself for a while, and we'll see how that goes.

I've been so lazy with my eating lately. I make the excuse that I don't have time to cook chicken and broccoli, so I eat something else (generally not bad, but worse than what I should eat to lose weight), knowing that my excuse is just BS.


The good news is that I do feel better. I feel cuter, and have even gotten hit on a couple of times. (If that doesn't send your self esteem through the roof,  I don't know what does.)

I'm sure I'll get a new scale and weigh myself soon. But hopefully I can drop a few more pounds until then without the stress of the scale.

30 Day Shred

Weight loss: 0, +1 pound
Total weight loss: 18.6 pounds

Seriously? How did this happen? I worked out and ate (mostly) healthy. My theories are that I've gained muscle, or hit a plateau and need to switch things up.

I did Jillian's 30 Day Shred yesterday for the first time with my friend Mallory.

Here's my review on the DVD, in case anybody cares.

I spent a solid hour reading reviews on Amazon about the workout before I decided to purchase it. The reviews were ALL positive. My favorite being, "This workout has brought me closer to religion because I have faith that it works." Seriously, people were being all kinds of crazy.

A lot of reviewers claimed that they've run marathons and are "gym rats" and that even for them, level 1 was a killer. To those people, I call BS. (Unless their idea of being a gym rat is scurrying around the gym's trash can looking for food..or maybe they think a marathon is measured in feet, rather than miles.)

The TOTAL length of the workout is 27 minutes. I went into it thinking that if the self-proclaimed gym rats couldn't finish level 1, then I was sure to die.

False. I did not die. And while the workout IS difficult (but definitely not unbearable), I truly believe that anybody that believes they could lose 20 pounds in 30 days while strictly doing this DVD needs a reality check.

That being said, I really enjoyed the workout itself. I'm sore today, and definitely think that it's a great exercise to tone, which I need. If it was coupled with 3-4 days of cardio, and  a healthy eating regime, I could see it having excellent results. However, I've only done one day, so my opinion isn't worth much.

I plan on supplementing it for my workouts on days I don't make it to the gym, and potentially doing both on days that I have time. I'm sure I'll add a more educated review once I've done it for a month or so, but for now, this is where I stand.

"There is no secret routine, there is no magical number of reps and sets. What there is, is confidence, belief, hard work on a consistent basis, and a desire to succeed." -Steve Justa

One workout from a good mood.

Weight loss this week: 2 pounds
Total weight loss: 19.6 pounds

It's crazy that it's been exactly three months today since I started this. Although I'm far from where I need to be, I've noticed a lot of changes in my life. I have more energy. I'm not afraid to look in the mirror anymore. I actually crave vegetables.

Over the past couple of weeks though, I've noticed depression creeping back into my life. I couldn't pin point why-nothing has changed really. Then last night I went to the gym for the first time in a couple of weeks. (I've been pretty sick and using it as an excuse.) Afterwards, I realized that missing my workouts most likely played a huge part in the way my emotions had been changing. It reminded me of this picture I saw on Pinterest:

When I first saw this picture a couple of weeks ago, I didn't really like it. It didn't seem applicable to me, and I couldn't see any correlation between working out and my well being. Then last night, after leaving kickboxing (and feeling like my legs were going to give out), I felt lighter. Everything that has felt so wrong in my life suddenly didn't seem so hard to face. My circumstances didn't change. But one good work out helped me feel a little more hopeful. I can't help but quote Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy."

So I'm resolving to do better at consistently working out. Not just for my physical health, but for the sake of my mental health too. One thing that I really believe, and have learned through all of my weight loss/gain experiences, it's that without the proper mind set, the weight won't stay off.


When I reached my skinniest (pictured below), I gained the weight back because when I looked in the mirror, I still saw the chubby girl that I was growing up. I was physically more healthy than I'd ever been in my life. But my head wasn't in the right place.

That's why my new motto is:

"Be ok with yourself, 
even if you know you want to change."


Here's to an all around healthier me.

Not much to say..

Weight loss this week: -2.8 pounds
Total weight loss: -17.6 pounds


I'll admit, I round it up to 18 when I tell people how much I've lost. And everybody says that 18 pounds is a lot, but honestly..I just don't see it. The good news is I'm wearing pants that haven't fit in a solid 4 months.

Working out hasn't happened in two weeks..I know, I fail. I went to California and cancelled my appointment with my trainer. I need to reschedule soon.. Then when I got home, I got a nasty bug and haven't been able to breathe out of my nose or mouth for a week. Thankfully I'm almost done with my antibiotics. I know I should suck it up and work out anyway. I always preach to not make any excuses. I'll do better.

I know this post is short, but I don't have much to say. 2.4 pounds away from 20, and I plan to make that happen in the next two weeks.

2012

Happy New Year!

I got on the scale on Saturday after two weeks of eating carelessly. I had cake, Christmas candy and cookies, Mexican food, Italian food, hot chocolate, etc...

Two weeks of having family and friends in town, celebrating birthdays AND Christmas, and being off of work was really hard. Granted, I didn't eat as much of the junk as I would have months ago, but I ate it.

I felt disgusting and I just KNEW that I'd gained 10 pounds. But I only gained .8, leaving me with a total of 15 pounds lost still.

The beginning of this year has felt very refreshing. I know it's cliche to say that I can feel 2012 will be a good year-everybody's saying it.

But I really don't think that this year could be worse than last year, so there's nowhere to go but up!

The start of the year also gave me a fresh resolve to keep going on this journey.

I WILL reach my goal weight this year. And I WILL continue to learn to love myself. 

I have an appointment with a personal trainer this upcoming week to go over my current measurements, my goals, and put together a game plan of how I'm going to get there. Because I will get there.

I really started to notice the 15 pound difference over this past weekend. I've seen the number drop on the scale, but haven't really felt any different. As I got ready for New Years Eve though, I looked at myself in the mirror and liked what I saw. I noticed that my stomach was flatter and that the new sweater I bought showcased my waist. I noticed that I looked happier and felt good in my skin. 

And this is just the start of something amazing. 

{I plan to.}